confussion....

In my bible class on the old testament we where talking about 1Timothy. It was a great class but I left more confused about what I want to do with my life! Youth ministry is what i want to go in to and feel let to. So i was going to go you Youth pastor. Well we talked about The Authority of Women.(1Timothy2:11-14) And The Church and Its Leadership. Well i dont think i have ever questioned anything more than this now. It says a womans job teach. However acording to 1Timothy a woman is not allowed to be a pastor. So how would you even get a job in a church working with a Highschool youth group full time with out having the title of "Pastor"? I mean just because i have this passion and desire and i have been following through with my commitment I dont want to end up with an empty heart over this. I am trying to follow where God is calling but This class is giving me things to dig deeper in and try to get through. I have done a mentorship last year with a youth pastor and it was a woman youth pastor but I don't want to go against what God has said. So its a big ball of yarn to unwind. If anyone could help on this topic Please let me know. I am going to talk to some pastors and see what they think.

Who knows what the future holds....

As many know I am at the point where I need to decide what to do with my life. People as questions like "What do you want to be when you grow up?","Where are you going to go after highschool is over?", and "What is God leading you to do?". I have been dealing with this alot lately well i can tell you the answer to 1 of the 3 questions!

I want to work with youth at a church. I love helping others and i am gifted in it. I had the chance to intern under a youth pastor i met at camp a few years ago. I loved it answering questions, leading discussions, helping with activities, and planning things! Helping people is a huge thing i love to do! anyone who knows me well knows this!

As for where is God leading me! Well working with youth at some point talking to kids about struggles in life and having the faith to get through it with God!

Now for number 2 well at this time God only knows where i will end up. I am struggeling with knowing what God wants and what my parents want. I want to do YWAM or FMMC like God wants not go to school and get a degree in business to take over one of my pa's companys cause i know i will not like that at all. I mean as it is I totally dislike economics with a burning passion!!!!

I talked to many people and for the most part people are telling me to go to business school then if i still feel led to do what God wants then its ok to do that. Well to me that goes back to the way socity thinks "The more eduication the better the job and the more of an adult you are!" Well let me tell you something the pressure is too much if i do any thing to please someone i want to please God! I know it will be one of the hardest things ever but its going to be alright!

The best advice i have got so far is from a close friend i love but have never had the chance to personally meet yet. She told me this tonight while we where talking about this:
"If you know that God is calling you to do something different than what everyone else wants you to do- follow Him. Everything else will work out in due time and if it doesn't, it's their hearts that are wrong."