Your arms hold me together!

K so I wanted to take some time to write this week out of the craziness of life. As you know if you read my last post I am working on a conference and it is this Saturday. Well in the past week God had brought me to new places in my faith through the planning process of the conference. Last week we lost sponsorship for the conference cause they backed out. I was a wreck trying to find a way to get the $400 we would need to pull off the conference! I broke down on Saturday in the car on my way home from Como. I had no idea what to do and I had been asking God a whole lot of questions like Why now? Why did this happen? And even what i was to do. I ended up making a call as i came to the Hudson bridge and talked with a wonderful woman. She had asked me a few questions like Does God really what this to happen or is it a door that is closing? I to be honest didn't like to think that it could be God closing that door considering i slammed that door in his face when i said no a few years back. I also couldn't wrap my head around the fact that all those times i was thinking of backing down from this He would do something so big that i knew that i was to keep moving froward with the conference. She had prayed on the phone with me over the situation and we hung up. The rest of the day i couldn't get past that question and the idea of being ok with the door closing on me if thats what God wanted. All throughout the day little things would point to move forward and Trust in God. i was unsure if that was me wanting to believe that thats what He wanted or if it was Him. I left the house to go to bible study that night and oh my did God make it clear what i needed to do. I needed to keep going but He had to have ALL CONTROL. Durning small group we split off and did a time of confession and man i spilled over. I told the women i was with about my control problem and wanting to know the out come of what was going to happen but knowing God had to have all control and i just needed to trust in Him and how i was afraid to. I like knowing weather things will work or not before they happen so i can brace myself but this time God said NO!! After that one of the girls had an idea to get the money. We went back down stairs to meet up with the guys and pray as a group. I shared the situation with the group to be prayed over and if you know me i'm known to smirk when i ask for prayer but i will admit this is the one time i didn't smirk. I just didn't see how God could do it. However the group had a few ideas. I left that night with $65 for the conference.

I went to church the next morning with a different attitude. I had seen Alisha who is the speaker for the conference and shared what happened with her and the pastor who hold the small group i go to came over and said i looked like a different person compared to the night before. He jokingly said to us that maybe I should tell my speaker that she needs to charge less. We laughed as she said "i'm not getting paid i'm doing it out of love and kindness!" Before He left he said "Don't worry we got it covered." My mind was racing what does that mean? but i chose to trust him and that night when i got home from babysitting one of the guys from my small group was on facebook and opened a chat with me and said he had a guy who would sponsor me for what ever we don't have by Thursday!!! That made me overjoyed in seeing how God works and brings things together in His timing and His control if we just let him! So i'm still looking for sponsors but knowing that if i keep getting turned down that there is a person who will cover what i need! God provides in ways we never think and we just need to be in His arms and trust cause He will hold us together!