Whats on my forehead?

K so today was just one of those dumb depressing days. I was all excited today when a friend told me of a job opening but due to school i could get there right when she told me about. At school i had a horrid day in the dark room along with the essay i was working on. All day i was looking forward to getting off school and going to get a job app. While when i finally got to the place to get an app the woman at the register looks at me and says the positions that were open have already been filled but we will keep your app on file when you bring it back. First off not what i wanted to hear secondly I needed that job!! Seriously i need a job so bad i will stoop as low as cleaning toilets for a living right now eventhough thats one of the last things i would want to do. I need a job so i can move out and pay for school. I feel like something is written on my forehead that just screws me over on things. I just want a job. Finding one is the hardest thing now a days!! ugg i wish that my dreams weren't so out there that i could accually attain them. But i guess the saying that "Dreams are for sleeping" is one of the truest things these days.

about to give....

I am getting tired of people telling me that they will call me and start including me in things. I found out this summer who my real friends my age are. I found out it was just me. I was only called to be the third wheel. I wasn't included in anything where all the rest of my "friends" my age where included in. I know its going to carry in to youth group this year and i am starting to think my mom is right. She told me i shouldn't do youth group this year and go to a church group more for young adults. My cousin's girlfriend is in the group at church for older teens and college age students and she would like me to go to that too. However some of the underclass students have talked to me and want me to come back cause they connect with me and they know they can trust me and tell me things that they dont tell anyone else. I just want to be included for once i dont what to always plan things in order for me to hang out with people. I wish right now that the friends my age cared about me enough to call me not as a back burner person but as a real friend. I am sick of looking at their pics that they post and see all them hanging out and all that goes through my mind is why was i not invited do they not like me. I am tired of it it makes me sad every time i see pics of all them. I just want to give up and be a quiet person again cause i dont know what else to do. I dont know how much longer i can pray about it I just want a friend who will call and hang with me. I feel soo alone soo much that i am excited for summer to end and school to start just because i get something to do even if its school work.