about to give....

I am getting tired of people telling me that they will call me and start including me in things. I found out this summer who my real friends my age are. I found out it was just me. I was only called to be the third wheel. I wasn't included in anything where all the rest of my "friends" my age where included in. I know its going to carry in to youth group this year and i am starting to think my mom is right. She told me i shouldn't do youth group this year and go to a church group more for young adults. My cousin's girlfriend is in the group at church for older teens and college age students and she would like me to go to that too. However some of the underclass students have talked to me and want me to come back cause they connect with me and they know they can trust me and tell me things that they dont tell anyone else. I just want to be included for once i dont what to always plan things in order for me to hang out with people. I wish right now that the friends my age cared about me enough to call me not as a back burner person but as a real friend. I am sick of looking at their pics that they post and see all them hanging out and all that goes through my mind is why was i not invited do they not like me. I am tired of it it makes me sad every time i see pics of all them. I just want to give up and be a quiet person again cause i dont know what else to do. I dont know how much longer i can pray about it I just want a friend who will call and hang with me. I feel soo alone soo much that i am excited for summer to end and school to start just because i get something to do even if its school work.

Shinning!

On the last night of camp we always have a big all camp bonfire! This years was the best one of the past 5 years! All week we where talking about shinning our light that God gave us. This year was a bit different at the fire. We had the fire and we all where handed candles. We didn't know what we were to do with them so we just held them for awhile. We lit the candles one person at a time and the light spread a far way! We where surprised how fast lighting the candles spread and how much light it gave off. James Allen continued on to say that if each light represented one of us and the light we have in Christ along with how quickly the light of God could spread if we would take the time to share. We where challenged to be the light when we got back home. Someone who would stand up for what we believe, listen to what God wants us to do no matter how big or small it may be. If only there were more words to describe how amazing that night was. When we put out our candles we noticed how dark it became with just the fire burning. On top of all this we had talked to the guys about things that girls struggle with and the guys did the same for us. It was a neat thing to hear they where helping us to help them and vise versa. The best thing the guys said was this " You girls could get up tomorrow morning and walk out of your cabins with no makeup and bead head hair and we would find you Beautiful." All you could hear from the girls was laughing! So we told the guys " Well we like guys who are gentlemen." We didnt know what they would do with that at all. Anna and JAH both looked at each other and said that sounds like a challenge. No one know what was going to happen the next day. The next morning when we woke up we got dressed walked out of the cabin and got in line for breakfast. Anna who is in charge looked at all us and said " Girls raise your hands if you didnt put make up on." ALL the girls didnt wear makeup or do their hair that morning! As we where getting dismissed to go eat we noticed the guys all in the lower KDA. We found out that they where being gentlemen and letting all the girls eat first! it was soo neat to have that happen!