Why does this always happen to me!

I am tired of the comments flying around this house about me. Yes i have reached the point where i constantly feel like i have to defend myself against what is being said. I don't care if i am not up to their standards i just want to be up to the standards God has on my heart and we all fall short. I don't like it when people use my faith against me by saying "Isn't that what a "good" Christian would do?" or "Your faith is a cult!". I am sick of it. I just want to leave but i have no where to go. I have been running to God for so long that i feel that that is the only safe place anywhere for me to go. People keep telling me my dreams are useless and will get me nowhere in life. Well its not life i am worried about i am worried about not doing what God whats from me.God is the one in charge and He rules my life. At least i believe in Him and finally trust Him. I understand that no human will love me like He does i just wish my earthly family would love me too. I honestly feel like i don't know how to dream anymore. Every time i try to have dreams of what i would like to do and i share them i hear "thats dumb", "You won't make money doing that",and "you wont be any good at that.". I understand we all go through hard stuff in life and God will never give us more than we can bare. I would like a time away from the house. I totally wish my grad party was not the weekend of the Spiritual retreat. That is something i will have to do sometime. For some restoration time. I guess maybe this summer i will take a week and go pitch my tent and live a week with no electronics. I think it would be nice to do that again. God grant me strength to get through this!